November 28, 2009
Okay so I know I said I wasn’t fucking around anymore but sometimes I can’t help it, too often actually but I’d like to think that some of this sometimes is good for me and not in just a letting off steam sort of way but in a makes me a little smarter in a way kind of way. If you click on that second link, or if you read that post already, you will know I recently discovered garden path sentences. I think these are great, and/but they make my head hurt.
I decided to try to write one that contained global ambiguity (I learned this term today, here’s an example - “I know more scientists than Stephen Hawking,” this could mean either “I know scientists in addition to Stephen Hawking” or “I know more scientists than Stephen Hawking,” without additional context each interpretation is equally correct), and that referenced garden path sentences. Here’s what I came up with:
“The sentence led up the garden path made me very happy, more than my high school English teacher.”
This one isn’t self-referential, but I still like it.
The novel proved to be written by Calvino in a month was eaten by bookworms.
That one works, I think. I think it works… ambiguity because “in a month” could qualify “proved”, “written” or “eaten.” Garden path because of “was eaten by book worms.” It’d be funnier with “just like my high school English teacher” at the end.
I would now like one that contains a pun about the word “sentence”, one that references (either explicitly or more subtly) the Borges story “The Garden of Forking Paths” (which I should read again, because I don’t remember much except the title) - preferably this one will also contain a pun or some other joke of some sort, and one that begins with the phrase “What in the hell.” I’m not sure that last one is possible.
I’m not working on any of this tonight though cuz it’s late and I gotta walk my dog and really above all because that one I wrote made my brain feel tired and knotted.
Question: are garden path sentences paraprosdokians, or just sort of like them?
November 15, 2009
I recently stumbled onto the wikipedia entry for “garden path sentences.” Here’s an example of a garden path sentence from that entry:
The old man the boat.
Here’s another:
The horse raced past the barn fell.
There’s more. Reading the above two at first sort made the inside of my head throb (it made my brain hurt).
I mentioned this to an old friend today and he said “oh, it’s mental push ups. Cool.” Then he recommended the following as another version of mental pushups, for people who know how to count to ten in two languages or more.
Count to ten alternating languages. For instance:
One, dos, drei, four, cinco, sechs, seven, ocho, neun, ten.
Neat. The next step, I’ve not tried it, would be to do basic math problems in a similar fashion.
November 14, 2009
Funny enough, a number of blogs that I read only very occasionally but regularly, if that makes sense, have had a big wide-ranging discussion about ontology and politics at the same time as I’ve gotten into an argument with some friends in my offline life about this very same subject, friends who I’m pretty sure don’t read any of these blogs. (more…)
October 21, 2009
October 17, 2009
Check this out - university takes legal action against student for anonymously voiced criticisms. Wild.
October 3, 2009
September 18, 2009
okay so I got home kinda late from a work thing and my wife was a bit frazzled cuz the baby had been crying a lot and the dog needed to go out and my wife wanted to walk around anyway to decompress so after a while I held the baby and my wife had the dog and the leash and we walked up the street outside. The baby fell asleep. It was nice, we went like 3 blocks up.
On the way back at the corner right by our place while I was entering the crosswalk this white convertible went by and threw something and hit me in the foot. It felt like a snowball. I sort of lost it. I ran into the street part way then followed the car, bellowing at the top of my lungs “I’ve got a fucking baby in my fucking arms motherfuckers” or something to that effect. I kept going up the street to see where they went and I called the cops, a futile effort.
I know, just some idiot teenagers fucking around. If I’d had a gun I’d totally have shot them, I had this like gut level “you remotely threaten my baby I’ll kill your fucking family” reaction.
And so, here’s my argument in favor of gun control.
1. The kids today! Bastards!
2. ARGH KILL SMASH DESTROY!
3. Therefore, making available the means to kill people in fits of strong emotion is a bad idea.
August 21, 2009
The Obama-kkkrats and their nazi marxist death panel fascist socialism… they must be stopped! The roots of their power lie in an institution whose communist tinge is only too obvious: the fire department, with their red trucks and their identical uniforms. We must band together to stop them! Only by abolishing fire departments can we truly prevent socialized medicine.
