The best I’ve seen is where someone repeatedly scratched “of doom” into the metal plate with the instructions on the face of a hand dryer. “Hold hands under spout of doom.” “Press button of doom.” “Rub hands of doom.” That kind of thing. Fantastic. I don’t recall where this was. I think it was in a bar in Saint Catharines, Ontario.
The second best was a sharpie scrawled “fuck the fuck off.” Also fantastic. An unpleasant yet appealing and succicnt statement of how I feel sometimes. Inarticulate, misanthropic, lonely. I think this was somewhere in Ohio, the bathroom of a vegetarian restaurant or a bar.
The third best is one I haven’t actually seen. My wife told me about it. It’s in the women’s bathroom in the show space at the Triple Rock. “Love punk rock, hate punk rockers.” Absolutely.
We talked about this over breakfast today (lovely banana pancakes that she made, and wicked strong coffee - our coffee maker broke and we accidentally bought a too small french press to replace it, it makes like one medium sized cup of coffee so we just make the coffee super strong then add a lot of milk or more water). Screeching Weasel provided our meal’s recorded musical accompaniment. At one point A commented about one of the songs that it was a very traditional type of pop love or crush song, except done by someone who is apparently very unhappy. A lot of the Screeching Weasel songs are like that. They’re sad in an angry way, not so much in a wisftul or vulnerable way. An unpleasant yet appealing and succicnt statement of how I feel sometimes. Sad misanthropy with pop hooks. Excellent.
Some of the songs particularly on the newer records are about being annoyed or worse with punk rockers and their culture. I remember reading a review of one of the newer Screeching Weasel records in one of the hallowed punk zines a few years ago, probably Maximum Rock and Roll, maybe Punk Planet. It said something like “Dear Ben Weasel, since you hate punk so much, why don’t you stop listening to it, stop reading zines, stop going to shows, and stop making records?” I remember thinking this was mildly clever on the writer’s part and absolutely useless and stupid as an actual record review, since it said nothing about the record. I can relate to the sentiment (imputed) there. So much of punk is so annoying or worse. But music is so good, when it’s good. Non-punk rock shows, A commented this morning, are usually a lot better than punk shows in that the crowds are so much more pleasant and less irritating. The music isn’t as good, though, and the sentiment isn’t often quite right. Hence the bathroom graffiti. No choice, I suppose. Love punk rock, hate punk rockers.
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In other music-and-me related news, my friend Todd made me a song (click here then click “Final Countdown for Nate”). Also, looking for something else today I found a copy of Sugar’s File Under: Easy Listening album and Fugazi’s Instrument. I don’t mean I found them at a store or something. I found them in my apartment in with some other CDs that are not (yet?) alphabetized and mixed in with most of the collection; that is, they’re newer purchases. I had no idea I bought them. FUEL is one of my favorite albums so it’s funny to have forgotten buying it and never having played it (I’ve had it on a copied tape for many years), and Fugazi, well, I’ve nothing more to say. I don’t recall buying these albums, and it’s odd to have forgotten owning them.

at this one punk rock bar in Paris, I don’t remember the exact phrasing, but this guy must have been in there for a long time, it was more like a mural done over a period of time with small sharpie. Anyway, ther’re caricatures of people from the various scenes, “goth”, “punk”, “skins” etc. with phrases describing how their penius look. they were all funny but the one that stuck in my head: Hiphoppers’ bites (french for penis) are in pieces because of all the “break beats”.
sorry if the humor doesn’t get across but, its one of those “you had to be there” kind of deals. by the way, when are you coming to see me?
Comment by tzuchien — March 2, 2008 @ 7:46 pm
I’m digging the honey bunches of goats.
Comment by John — March 2, 2008 @ 9:39 pm
man I just realized that you’re the one who weened me after the epochal shift stuff. It’s even more humorous since now I’m all “epochal shifts are a symptom of the theoretical convalescence of marxists thought on history”…. but I got it from a marxists, so kinda disproves my thesis
Comment by todd — March 2, 2008 @ 10:03 pm
“Love punk rock, hate punk rockers” sounds like a twisted inversion of the old christian injunction to “hate the sin, love the sinner.” I like your version better.
On the question of which shows are better, only 2 of my 10 best all-time concerts (the previously mentioned Fugazi concerts, as well as the Los Crudos/Spitboy/Citizen Fish show at the Fireside in 1994) would be narrowly defined as “punk rock,” though some others (Butthole Surfers, Gogol Bordello, Nirvana, the Ex) might be counted in by more broad-minded commentators.
Comment by Mike — March 3, 2008 @ 8:25 am
on toilet graff, mine is from my local in London…
“Your mum owes my dog fuck money”
but does punk rock exist anymore anways… isn’t the name more of a section lable for record stores now?
Comment by nic — March 5, 2008 @ 8:55 am
the Hand Dryer in the public toilet on Bournemouths’Pier (UK) is a model called ‘Techno Storm’, well atleast it was back in 91, i remember getting really excited about it at the time as i was a real ‘technohead’ and thought that it’ed be great to sample it and put it out as a real thumper, never did though.
On a related note (vague) there is an Episode of ‘Father Ted’ called ‘Tentacles of Doom’ i’ve never figured out why. I’m sure it’s out there on youtube if you’ve never come across it.
Comment by Ana Carlo — March 25, 2008 @ 3:08 pm