What in the hell …

I’m lazy about cleaning. I’m also a bit of a pack rat and I’m disorganized. Makes my apartment a bit of a wreck sometimes. Today I sorted out a bunch of crap, eliminated some needless stuff I was keeping, and found some things that were pleasant to find. An old letter, a mix tape, my passport (didn’t realize it was missing, like I said I’m disorganized). And I found the bill slips book, the tickets I was supposed to mail in with my car payments. I bought the car for this job that I really liked that soon after became this job that ate my life then became this job I really hated then became the job I lost and went into a major financial tale spin and unpleasant bout of depression. The car was a reminder of all that. An expensive one, with regular payments, during a long stretch of living paycheck to paycheck and often loan to loan when I lost another job. Felt like I’d never be done with that way of living and that damn car payment. And I am. The car payment is totally done (as is the car, cursed thing) and I’m definitely in a better place re: financial security. Hurray for keeping random crap in a disorganized way, cuz then I find it later and feel better about things as I throw it out. There is progress.